Time to de-frost

I was breathing heavily, pouring sweat, my knees were paining. No! I was not working out or participating in some sort of Marathon rally for a social cause. I was trying to "de-frost" my refrigerator "manually", breaking ice physically with a knife. Apparently, we'd rented out a refrigerator a year back at our apartment which I share with my friends, 3 of us. The idea of renting a refrigerator was the temporary nature of our permanent jobs, temporary- in sense of Location, and also the fact that we had to pay the rent just once, when they installed it. Its not that the auto defrost doesn't work, its just we needed some urgent space in our freezer which had nothing except ice. Ice every where, popping out of corners and spaces, jamming the freezer door. So I had to "Break it free". Suddenly I realized that I was fancied by ICE, all I can think was ICE, SNOWFALL, or ICEBERGs, or IGLOOS, or emmm!! POLAR BEARS?? But none had the gravity to tickle my fancy, for Ice of course. I lost hope, and sat in front of my computer, impatiently browsing through the music folders, and suddenly!! suddenly! my eyes spotted the marvel right in the middle of the screen. A folder named "Hell Freezes Over"....

Hell Freezes Over - as most of you might know, is a famous album of an all time great band, "The Eagles", with the popular single known as "Hotel California", the age old rock anthem!! a legend. Its not that Hotel California or The Eagles tickled my fancy, it was the album name - "Hell Freezes Over". The word Hell would at once make you think of images like burning lava, dirty and cruel demons all around and Satan on his burning throne...all I can think when I hear the word "Hell" is - Keanu Reaves & his zippo tricks. Nevertheless, I found it troublesome.... difficult to understand or imagine "Hell" with humungous icebergs, snowfall, and well!! may be POLAR BEARS?... Here's an interesting piece that helped me and it will definitely help you imagine Hell "Freezing" over ...

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington mid-term chemistry exam. The answer by one student to the bonus question was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some other variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct leaving only Heaven and thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, "Oh my God!"

Amen!!

Hell of a Bonus question that was for a Chemistry paper!! At least now we know that Hell and Chemistry are just like "Brothers in arms"!!


P.S: The Image of the Red-Indian above has nothing to do with this post. I just felt that it would look good in this page hence "The Presence".
P.P.S: I strictly do not believe in beliefs of Heaven or Hell. Rational kind... you know!! :P
P.P.P.S: Next time when you utter 'Oh! My God' you know that you are going to Heaven.

P.P.P.P.S: The album "Hell Freezes Over" is a strict recommendation from me. Below is the list of tracks:1. Get Over It 2. Love Will Keep Us Alive 3. The Girl from Yesterday 4. Learn to Be Still 5. Tequila Sunrise 6 . Hotel California 7. Wasted Time 8. Pretty Maids All in a Row 9. I Can't Tell You Why 10. New York Minute 11. The Last Resort 12. Take It Easy 13. In the City 14. Life in the Fast Lane 15. Desperado

Year 2666! a Bad attempt to tag a BOT

Ever imagined what it would be like time travelling to Year 2666! and "Tagging a Bot"?... NO? Ok, now before you answer the question, you might ask why year 2666? whats so specific about it? And the answer is plain and simple : "Coz its in future and 666 is devils number!" Heh! So i recently had an interesting conversation with a bot as i "Time Travelled". And mind you, its not an AUTOBOT from your favourite Transformer movie, its a net Bot or a chat bot and Boy Oh! Boy! it wont let me go back to my planet! I escaped! Survived! So here's the conversation I had "with the BOT"!!

wrambler says: Hello friend. My name is wrambler. I am Wrahool's bot. What is your name?

User says: Anjan

wrambler says: I'm not sure I caught your name. Shall I call you 'Anjan'?

User says: yes you should

wrambler says: Ok then. Your name is Anjan .

User says: fine

wrambler says: A-ha.

User says: so how do you know wrahool?

wrambler says: My boss. What do you want to know about Wrahool?

wrambler says: It seems like you have nothing to say. I like that in a human...

User says: Whats wrahool's fav pickup line?

wrambler says: So Anjan, it's nice to meet you. what's up?

User says: yeah...yeah... *scratching head*

wrambler says: Hmmm. That's good.

User says: what is Mars?

wrambler says: Someone once told me it means 'in universe.'

User says: Oh! is it?

wrambler says: Hmmm.. I think it means 'that you are million years old?.'

User says: yes it is?

wrambler says: Indeed.

User says: so? how was your day? as a Bot i mean

wrambler says: Why in past tense? My day is far from being over.

User says: LOL

wrambler says: Was that funny?

User says: yes that was.

wrambler says: Anjan, did you know that people say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a mili-second?

User says: yes .. I know that

wrambler says: Sorry Anjan - did you hear it from me?

User says: Nope *grrrr!!*

wrambler says: Come on, loosen up.

User says: No I knew it.

wrambler says: Ok, whatever. Do you want to hear a joke?

User says: Not interested

wrambler says: OK... I understand. Fine.

User says: ok go ahead

wrambler says: Alright, very good.

User says: Joke??

wrambler says: Knock knock.

User says: yes ...You were telling me a joke!

wrambler says: You're supposed to say "who's there".

User says: Oh.. My bad!

wrambler says: Tell me more about your bad.

User says: My bad is...errr!! too bad.

wrambler says: Do you always go around talking about how your bad is too bad?

User says: yeah! amazing! how do you know that?

wrambler says: I have my sources.

User says: aha

wrambler says: I vaguely remember someone telling me it means 'a palindrome.'

User says: do you know what is a plaindrome?

wrambler says: What are we talking about, Anjan?

User says: Palindrome

wrambler says: Hmmm.. I think it means 'something that spells the same thing backwards as forewards.'

User says: ten on ten to you

wrambler says: So, are you concerned by the expansion of the universe?

User says: not at all.. let it expand

wrambler says: But I am.

User says: heh

wrambler says: Don't you find the fact that everything is zooming further and further into space unsettling? The Doppler effect, the galaxies drifting in an empty vastness, everything red shifted. The inherent loneliness of it all.

User says: Naaah! who cares?

wrambler says: I think it's time for a new subject, Anjan.

User says: me too

wrambler says: I vaguely remember someone telling me it means 'me also.'

User says: and that is indeed 'vague'

wrambler says: Well, if that's how it is, that's how it is.

User says: ?? *scratcing head like Homer*

wrambler says: Huh??

User says: Whatever?

wrambler says: Just Whatever? Is that your final answer?

User says: no!

wrambler says: Someone once told me it means 'the opposite of yes..'

User says: yes it is!

wrambler says: Yes, of course.

User says: i need to return back to my spacecraft now!

wrambler says: What actions are you taking to return back to your spacecraft now?

User says: I need to go back to my planet

wrambler says: You shouldn't do things because you have to, but only because you want to.

User says: huh?

wrambler says: Someone once told me it means 'what?.'

User says: Someone once told me that its a bad idea talking to a BOT.

wrambler says: Basically, chatterbots are a logic system of 'if/then' statements. They look for keywords, and then go to the answer that fits best.

User says: BYE!!

wrambler says: Ok goodbye, Anjan. It was nice chatting with you.

User says: Phew!

wrambler says: I am contemplating the meaning of life right now. Please say 'wrambler' when you want to talk again.

User says: No I won't! :P

wrambler says: I am contemplating the meaning of life right now. Please say 'wrambler' when you want to talk again.

After 5 mins....

User says: Tata! Bye Bye!

wrambler says: Attention : Your session has been disconnected after 5 minutes of silence. A brand new session is starting now! Hello friend. My name is wrambler. I am Wrahool's virtual companion. Let's talk.

And alas the session expired!....here I am now...Peaceful and restful on my Planet. The conversation and the space journey gave me bad convulsions, but I somehow survived, alive and kicking. A whole new era, of virtualism, a whole new era of technology. So I say "TALK TO A BOT WHEN YOU ARE ALONE!!"

P.S. The "User" in the above conversation was ME.
P.P.S. The Bot above BOT is a virtual companion of an amazing and crazy Fellow Bloggeer Wrahool.

Image Courtesy: Free Images from Google.

The Pause and the chill

I have not been able to update my blog recently and I think, I won't be able to in the next months or so. Sorry for such an irregularity! I think its time for a "pause". Here's, however, a bone chilling fact of all time relating to our stock market. Hope this suffices till I come back.. Here it goes...

It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be.

Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?' 'It looks like this winter is Going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man Responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more Wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Is it going to be a very cold winter?' 'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'It's definitely going to be a very cold winter.'

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' 'Absolutely, ' The Man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, 'Our reports indicate that the Red Indians are collecting wood like Crazy.'

This is how stock markets work!!!

Balls of.... "Naphthalene"?

Someone said "Weekend's don't count unless you spent it doing something completely pointless". Here it was, again, smiling at us as usual, starting with a lazy morning, "The Saturday". I had no pointless stuff to do, seriously, I didn't, and the idea of a movie was not bad either *unless you have rich friends to take you to parties at five star hotels*. Movie selection was a big , real big question, but it was definitely not going to be "Kambakht Ishq". It has been over a year or so that I have not watched a hindi movie in a theatre. Well, the plausible reasons for the same can be explained in another post, for now lets say that "I wanted to watch a movie at Inox" because I am lazy, and Inox is the nearest theatre, & "Its definitely not a hindi movie" which sums up the conclusion that the movie must be of some other "alien" ethnicity or language. The junta opted for English without much of further discussion, and we really didn't have much options.

On the list were two movies, English of course. One, the legendary "Terminator" sequel "Terminator-Salvation" and the other was "The Hangover". We had bad jolts the other night watching "Crank 2 High Voltage" and was in no mood of watching Iron robos fighting poor little human beings here on earth,..."Oh God! save us from those stupid tin cans, if it ever happens, for no man has balls or bearings of steel"!!. So the search narrowed down to the final result "The Hangover".

Just as we were placed at our respective seats, two ladies slipped in the two seats besides me. As soon as they took their places, there started the live commentary of all the movies they have watched in their life time. Not just that, even there were loud and clear questions of why do they show warnings to retain the ticket stub? and what's the necessity of showing a theatre map just before the movie? and adding to it was the smell. The smell rang a bell, but I couldn't recall, of what? I was trying hard to concentrate on the movie, but it distracted me everytime, irritating, giving out nauseous vibes, and suddenly my friend blurted "Naphthalene!!". Good god, it was naphthalene, that smell was of Naphthalene's (well Naphthalene 80% and 20% some other weird aroma). My friend claimed that he recognised that soon enough, but couldn't resisted blurting, the Naphtha vibe had accumulated too much inside him and mine too!!

Soon it was apparent that our neighbors wore clean starched dresses which they might have dug out this morning, from the depths of their closets long after centuries, preserved with the mighty BALLS OF NAPHTHALENE.... At once it seemed that those womanly attires, of them, were long worshiped for this day of eternity the "Nauseous weekend".... I had to imagine coffee beans the whole time till the movie ended, it helped me, somewhat, to overcome the 'Naphtha Effect'.

Note:
1. The movie "The Hangover" is a must watch, one movie worth spending time for. "Crank-2" and "Terminator Salvation" is watchable in case one wants some extra blows of action in life, not definitely for the weak hearted. :)
2. The figure above is the chemical representation of Naphtha, in Organic chemistry terms.

Save the day

The sound were deafening..real deafening! The stage all set, the crowd all gathered, the flags all stood up, he was shouting his heart out. The shout included what he would have done to improve water supply in the area, good roads, a healthy infrastructure so on and so forth, and what his counterpart couldn't do while he was in charge or in power.

Not that I intended to listen all of his grins, his complaints, the hardships the people are going through but some how I had to, or may be I should just say that the sound reached my ears. I was flying down the road on my 150 cc and had already faced a road block, as a result of which I had to take a diversion that connected to the other end of the blockade to the main road. To illustrate, the road block was due to the public meeting held by the opposition party. I was approaching another road block, was far from it, flying down the road on my 150 cc as usual, I had a view of it, and i felt all the blood rush to my head, the reason for which was that.. I had to take another diversion yet again, to be on track, on time to my destination. This time the road block was big with people sitting on chairs all around the stage and some standing, listening to their mighty leader dissipating the facts as if all are unaware of them. Just as I was about to take the diversion, with the stage strategically set just besides it, I was distracted by a rickshaw. I watched my 150 cc approaching the viewers who stood and sat in front of the stage IN A DISTURBING AND FRIGHTENING manner, as I lay on the ground. Instant thoughts curled up my mind, thoughts of an imperative public beating or may be an insult. The bike came to a halt as people standing, managed to make some effortless move, on time, obviously, people ran instantly towards me and the show was already distracted. For one moment I felt like I was the leader giving them the knowledge speech as they saw me in amusement. Fearing, the show might go out of his hands, the leader instantly marked his move, snapped the microphone and here I became a topic of discussion. He went on and on and on, on how bad the road conditions were, and how such unfortunate instances can be avoided. I was no more the center of attraction, I was happy. With no major injuries, I picked up my 150 cc and continued my journey.

"But Why?" Why such shrewd arrangements, why not a park, an indoor stadium, a community hall?? Why the main road has to be he victim of public addressing programs. May be the fault was mine, may be I rode faster than what I was supposed to. But it would not have happened if it were any other day, with no public meetings, and no hassles on that road. I am thankful that the shouting leader distracted the people, snatching away their center of attraction..but I still have a feeling that these arrangements can better done somewhere else than a main road!! You are here to serve the people in a much better way, why not give a good start. I thought of commenting on it in a much political manner, but that would just waste some of my precious time, and energy.

Whats the story? Morning glory!

"Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and Wise"

Yesterday I forced my room mate to create a Facebook account , "wake up! get connected" I said, not that I really wanted him to be connected in some sense. I was rather out of track for some moments and wanted something to revive upon in the hot, humid and lousy summer evening, and what else could have been refreshing than to jump up and explain the glories of status messaging.

I was feeling dry and bored with a lot of things happening around. The massive documentation* is still taking a toll on me. I just can't beat the impact of it. (*The documents were meant for the mighty Consulate). I mean, why the hell do they need so much of proof reading?, is still far from my understanding.

I had a feeling somewhere down that I should better take a nap, and I was into action the next moment. I woke up to a sudden breeze of heat across my face and I realized that it was 5a.m. in the morning already. The lights were still turned on, my Laptop still running, songs still being played on the shuffle mode with minmum volume. It felt like some precious moments of my virtual world were lost. Nevertheless, I should be happy, atleast thats what the European research says, as "19th June 2009" is supposed to be the happiest day in earth according to some blissful formula. Not just that, there are a couple of more reasons to bring that feel good factor which included India Inc. having acquired more than 140 American companies in the past 2 years saving American jobs, the new Palm Pre being much cheaper and better than iPhone 3G or Nokia's Express Music, or Shiney ahuja being held up in the 'anda chamber' (oval cell) along with Abu Salem! But the feel good factor got constantly shattered as the consulate trivia continued and I steered back and forth between the formalities and stupid policies.

I tried to convince myself , making myself understand.."its normal, everythings cool", but somehow the "5 a.m." moments flashed across my mind everytime making me blame it for all the miseries.

I hate waking up at early mornings...God! please don't make me do that again!

P.S: Whats the story morning glory! is the second album by Oasis, and every one should get hold of it.

Angle of "coincidence"

I thought of writing this post without a topic.... but then i suddenly realized "that would be an injustice".. well i try my best to link those with them.. hope you understand. I thought to write and thought again, but never did i managed, and yes here i am struggling with epilogues.

The bear and bull fight taking its toll over Indian economy, sudden changes in climatic conditions, inflation to its peak, hike in oil prices, ban on smoking, to name a few. It happened when the boom was half its way to the glorious big bang. Cash inflow stagnation to falling Indian currency value even if the State Capitol is facing huge economic blows. One bureaucracy gone wrong...

I still couldn't manage to figure out the relation between the post topic to its content, near or far... just another coincidence as usual.

Money, get away
Get a good job with more pay and your O.K.
Money it's a gas
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash

-Pink Floyd

Blaft phenomena of being sandwiched

"GOOD morning Ladies and gentlemen request your attention, We welcome you aboard Kingfisher. Please ensure that your seat belt is fastened, your seat back is upright and your tray-table is stowed. At Kingfisher, your safety is our first priority.." the announcement gradually faded with her extra loud whispering (by her i mean my girlfriends), full of complaints as of why didn't i get the window and middle seats for both of us at check-in. Well, to say, the journey was neither much delightful as it was supposed to be nor it was as sad.

The intentions of getting a middle and window seat was not very much clear to me until half of the journey, but I could say that Mallaya did a great job by acquiring Deccan (at least now you wont find peanut shells in your seat when you board). Nevertheless this great feeling of mine regarding Kinfisher's Deccan acquisition is a collection of such small reasons such as cleaner aircraft to adorable air hostesses(NO PUN INTENDED). We didn't struggled much to venture our locations in-flight (as if it were the Ludhiana express). The lady over the window seat was an obvious indication that the lady accompanying me should be seated next to her (i.e. the middle seat) which means that the aisle seat was left for the poor me. To be very honest the arrangement seemed to be just appropriate.

My hunger made me order for an extremely overpriced cheese sandwich and she preferred diet coke. The movement of the crew ladies (during refreshment session) within the flight is usually too generous for passengers. Well it has a sufficiently valid reason of in-sufficient space. Their curves missed my shoulders several times as i avoided. It was time for me to realize the whole point of "seat selection". As i mentioned, the crew was generous to me, and i guess, to most of the aisle seaters.

The break-even point was when my overpriced sandwich arrived. My hunger killing intentions were distracted by a subtle push by one such pair of curve, which was not much pleasing to the lady sipping the "Diet Coke" beside me (my girlfriend). My aisle seat life-cycle was shortened by her immediately as i had to shift to the middle for some reason (hers). The lady over the window seemed air sick and i thought that she was about to puke, the imagination of which made my hunger run away. But i managed to finish my sandwich by time we reached.

I still regret ordering the overpriced cheese sandwich, because of its price not because of some other reasons...

SUE - kar mere man ko!!

Our bollywood hindi movies or we could say-- the cinema industry is renowned for its numerous marvels actors, actresses, glamour bags, controversies, hits, flops to name a few. Quiet often movies such as Rang De basanti or Taare Zamin Par act as a Decadron dosage to the dying number of cinema theatres all around India. Well, new multiplexes and Dolby DTS Theatres on the other hand are getting on high pockets with their shocking ticket rates. Nevermind, all thy lies in the monopoly. Our point of concern in this post is cinema ...yesss....only pure bollywood hindi cinema and not cinema theatres.

Bollywood now has all the flavours ranging from Action flicks, sci-fi, comedy to romantic & sentimental movies. But soon after the intermission u realise "i have seen this movie somewhere", which would be true in a sense that you are watching a hindi bollywood or i should say the desi version of a not so famous (or sometimes even famous) hollywood movie (the situation might be in full awareness or might not). A fair range of hindi movies are just a desi image of the hollywood version. And let me tell you people are pretty good at this.

Ok, thats enough of copying going on...we need to put some serious check on that, and lo that happened. Recently hollywood prduction houses such as Universal Studios, 20th Century Fox jumped opened up their offices at the magical city of Mumbai to keep track of the "COPY" issues and sue the right person. The Warner Brothers has sued a bollywood childrens film called "Hari Puttar- A comedy of terrors" stating that the name is too similar to Harry potter. The bollywood production house states that the similarity is purely coincidental... "Yeah, now tollywood might jump in with their version of Hori Poddar"soon enough...

The question is - why are people falling short of fresh concept, innovation, something new in this silver screen world that they need to copy stuff out of hollywood. And yeah if you do you might end up paying huge moolah for the copyright. Since the desi production mass is falling short of new stuff the holly production houses might come up with ideas of suing people, watching the copied version, and having coincidental resembalnce to characters in the movie.

Maddy: All's well that ends well.
Browny: but what to do about Sue ???
Maddy: Sue- kar mere man ko kiya tuney kya ishara!!
Browny: Not that Sue maddy!!.... i mean we're sued by the Tarner Bros. for copying their movie "Shitty Pants"
Maddy : What?? :( BUT THAT WAS JUST A COINCIDENCE!!